this world.

so...i am being deeply challenged in the beth moore daniel Bible study i am partaking in. i heard this song on the radio yesterday, and started singing, (this in itself is scary...i ~cannot~ carry a tune gracefully, but it didn't much matter, as it was just campbell, karolina, and calli and myself,  :) ) and getting teary...

how we are in the midst of our own Babylon, right here in america, can be overwhelming...and  how am i being Jesus in it, AT ALL? hmmmm. by that i mean, she talks about how over-indulgent we are here in america. we have it all. if you drive A car, then you are considered one of the richest people IN THE WORLD. we have more shoes, sweaters, jeans...more choices of coffee than some people have in food...for pete's sake.

and our discussion in small group last night was interesting too. i did not win. i lost. but still don't agree with the winners take. :) we are studying nehamiah.

it was thrown out there that this man (neighbor of mine, no names, though :) )would take it upon himself to shoot someone who was willing to harm his wife and children. he was insistent that he believes God has given him that duty, and whatever it takes to get that done, is okay.
 not only was that statement surprising to me, from someone who grew up in a very conservative household, but didn't sit well with me either. we talked about praying in that instance, and while he agreed that God could intervene, that he probably would not wait for any intervention...like an answer to his prayers.  then i said, that that person he was shooting, yeah, made a really bad choice, but that that is someone's son...he just disrupted someone else's family system, by the choice he made. well, that didn't matter to him, so much. he wasn't even sure he would feel bad...initially anyway. well, then i threw out there that God allows really bad things to happen in life, and well, sometimes he uses those really bad things to draw others to himself. uses a really horrible "thing" he allowed to happen for something beautiful.  and well. the reality is, that sometimes really bad things happen to really good people, and we will never know or maybe even see, the "reason" God "allowed" it to happen, and that is a very, very painful thing to many who have gone thru tragic events in life. it felt like this guy heard what i, or then, we, were saying, but was so set in his thinking, that that was that. that gets frustrating, you know? and i know it's only my job to keep friends accountable, it's ultimately God's job to get thru to him, but, it was an interesting night. i did finally leave the room when they started going back and forth with the old testament, vs. the new testament, because i was getting frustrated. :)

 all that to say, i don't think i could ever shoot someone...he than brought up our policemen, etc., and i guess it's really gray for me. i am thankful for all of our service people who's job it is to protect me and my family, and i am thankful for them, just rejoicing it's not my job, or my husband's. :)

it does seem to be really trendy? right now to be wearing a gun...down this way anyway. that also scares me a bit. surprise. surprise. i don't know if it's the threat of our government taking "our gun rights" away, or just this God given
"responsibility" to protect their families, well, and anyone else who might need protection, i guess? it makes me uncomfortable, to say the least, which i think is interesting, because aren't they wearing guns to make me feel "more" protected? i don't know. anyway...thanks for listening to me ramble on about my thoughts. :) do love that you listen to me ramble. :)
anyway, rock out to the song. i need to jump in the shower. will post more later. my sister and i and partial kid loads, :), are heading to the philly zoo today.

update: zoo was fun. however, as we were driving home, my 3 year old neice, reese, started crying in the back seat.  when asked what was the matter, she tearfully told us that she didn't want to go to the zoo, she just wanted to go to campbell's house to play. meg and i looked at each other, and chuckled...well...if nothing else, the new mommies got a workout, and had fun being together, and talking a lot...now...i am looking into free aquarium tickets. :) anyone in?

homecoming weekend at octorara. made it to the homecoming parade last night, and will make an appearance this morning sometime, although missing the alumni hockey game this morning. :( oh. to be in shape. someday. just not this day. :) and then will freeze my hiney off at kaden's baseball game, while my husband has an ice hockey game of his own this afternoon. happy weekend.

karolina grace. 9 wks.

we've decided to encourage reading at a young age...

karolina's dedication.

So...for those of you who know me, you know that i was born
and raised in the Mennonite Church, as was my husband, Matt.
Matt and I continue to go to a local Mennonite church...
infact, the same church that Matt grew up at.

Today, was a special day,
in that we dedicated
Karolina Grace
 to the Lord.

I am going to explain what that means, right off the certificate,
because, well...it says it perfectly, for those of you who are
unfamiliar with a dedication service.

and i quote:
"The birth of a child is an expression of God's work in creation.
In a service of consecration, we praise God and bring the child into a relationship with the body of Christ.

Infants presented to God and the church are placed in the care of the congregation. In this consecration service, Christian parents commit themselves to the call to nurture their children into faith.

Pilgram Marpeck, in his Confession of 1532 (wow), states,
"We admonish the parents to cleanse their conscience, as much
as lies in them, with respect to the child, to do whatever is needed to raise the child up to the praise and glory of God, and to commit the child to God."

Infants and children have no need for baptism, since they are safe
in the care of God. When they are able to be accountable
for their own actions, they are able to make the church's faith their own."

Thanks Venus for these pictures.
i love them.

i wish i knew what we were laughing at...

i can get a little teary at these things...
(especially being that this is the 5th time around...)
and it again becomes a reality that
i am totally and completely ~BLESSED~

one of the questions we had to answer was:

"Do you promise to gladly surrender Karolina Grace to the ministry
God has in mind for her, even if it might involve
going to the ends of the earth?"

i answered yes...

but it was a slow yes.
(do you see it says promise, and gladly surrender?)

i think about this nearly everyday in being a mommy.
how am i going to let these kids go?
to be their own person...whatever that may look like.

i am hoping not to be completely wrecked,
when they drive out our driveway for the 1st time...
or when they start dating, or graduate and leave for college
all the way across the country...

it's a small step, to send them off to preschool,
and then a little bigger when they start at our public school...
a lot of other people are affecting them now...
a lot of hours in the day...

i must remember they are not "MINE"...
i am preparing them to leave, and teaching myself to let go...
a little at a time.

our children all wanted to come up and be a part of the service...

and our pastor, Steve, praying over our precious girl...

karolina usually sleeps all morning long.
for real.
but this morning, she was wide awake.
she did great.

We had 3 names going into laboring with Karolina...
however,
the week before i gave birth, they suggested that she wasn't growing,
and recommended i get an ultrasound.
i know. i know.
anyone who saw me, would KNOW that there was no way
i was going to have a teeny baby, but we went ahead with the ultrasound,
just to be sure...

it was during this time of nervousness that i started looking
up the meanings of the names we had...

karolina...means tiny... but strong.
and that...she is.

we love you sweet girl.
you are devine. and precious.
and i am so glad i was chosen to be your mommy...

parenting.

well. i have quickly learned that this ~may~ be my favorite time in life. i think i am in an "easy" stage of life. people laugh at me. i have 5 kids in 8 years...what is easy about that? (and don't get me wrong...i have my fair share of bad days, when i speak louder than i intentioned, when i do my share of complaining and whining,...infact, i had a really bad day on tuesday...just bad, anyway, the list continues on and on...but...) i just mean i love babies and little people.  i cringe at imagining the teenage years. i have lots of seasoned women i admire in life, and some tell me they loved the teenage years. the Lord will work in my heart. i know it.

in sunday school the other week...(i love sunday school by the way...tons of young families in the same stage of life as we are...and have been cherishing my time there...only because i have a nursing baby...i am usually teaching our littles...anyway...) we were talking about parenting...and a friend said that growing up, her parents never really said what they could or couldn't do...but left it up to them. what? i thought. how in the world did you guys turn out so "good"? ha.ha. she went on to explain her parents quoted this verse over and over to them, and that is how they were supposed to make their decisions...by reflecting on this particular verse. genious. complete genious,
i thought.  that is what the Lord intentioned for us to do? right? we don't have to read a million parenting books...although i love them...all we really need to know is in ~his~ precious God-breathed word. i am now working on my memorization of this exact scripture, to not only use with my kids, but myself...totally applicable to myself.

finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-

think about such things.    ~philippians 4:8.

old road motorcycle ride.

each year matt and i try to go on the old road motorcycle ride.

old road is the church i grew up going to as a child,

and each year someone organizes a ride that leaves after church,

and returns late afternoon or early evening.

wasn't sure if i could swing it this year,

with nursing karolina, who was 8 wks old yesterday...

but my parents graciously said they could watch ALL 5 kids...

which meant trying karolina with a bottle, if need be.
(we now know she is not crazy about a bottle...
but did fine.)

thanks mom and dad.

we had a great time.

it was a beautiful day for a motorcycle ride.



i have no idea where we were when we took this picture...

somewhere near elizabethtown i think?

try not to be alarmed.

i ~always~ wear a helmet...

but somewhere between me getting 5 kids up and ready for church

this morning...i forgot about a helmet... :(

solanco parade.

we usually go to the solanco parade.

just for fun.

but this year we got to walk with the beiler campbell trailer.

yee-haa.

the kids were very excited.

they did a great job.

kaden walked the whole time.

kaycee walked almost the whole time.

campbell walked most of the time, and then she bailed out with matt's mom.

and calli, well...she walked and rode, and walked and rode.

all the while tossing candy.

sorry if you didn't get any. we did run out towards the end. :(

i was a little disappointed we couldn't be "together".

matt and kaden were on one side, and the girls and i on the other.

(well...calli kept changing sides.)

but...he saw most of the people we knew...

and while i saw some, i am sure i missed a bunch,

i kept trying to make sure my babies weren't going to get run over. :)

this was waiting, and waiting, and waiting to get started.

and this was me and all our garb...

filling the time chatting. :)

wish i knew what she was telling me at the time...quite a face,

wouldn't ya say?



and. well. that's all i got for ya.

i am tired. and getting ready to host a Buckwalter dessert party

for my family that is "in" from out of town.

should be fun.

guess i should drink some caffeine. :)

happy weekending.

campbell's 1st day of preschool.

sigh. i can't believe it again.

you people are going to get sick of me saying that.

time just keeps flying by.

today was campbell's 1st day of preschool.

she couldn't have been more excited.

for real.

she said her teacher kept calling her kaycee.

love it.

(please excuse kaden's empty bb container on the chair...great background. :( )

it was a bit challenging to get out the door on time this morning.

got the 2 oldest delivered to school, and i got home again,

just in time to nurse little peanut, and head to preschool and bible study.

whew.

i was ready for some coffee by the time i blew in. :)

and it's not like i even slept in.

i just gotta keep moving to get out the door on time.

******************

and i was up until 11:30 pm last night folding laundry and

just cleaning up in general...putting toys where they *really* belong.

things like that.

and then i went to the basement this afternoon and found this.

this is what they were playing with *this morning* after breakfast,

but before heading off to school.

 (i love how they have little bunny tucked in first baby's arms.)

and this next picture, is the tornado of a desk i have to tackle

tomorrow.

it's scary. i know.

you should see the kids rooms right now.

eeekkkk.

*******************

and now...i am off to bed.

our family walked with the beiler campbell trailer tonight

at the solanco parade.

lots of fun.

ran out of candy. like 70 lbs of candy. gone.

our kids did well.

and we are b.e.a.t.

sleep well. :)

quote of the day.

"Karolina, don't cry. Jesus is with you."

~ Campbell. age 4.

shaken.

i am still listening to speakers reflect on 9/11.

i think back to where i was on that morning.

i was pushing a patient of mine back thru the hallways

of Ware Presbyterian Village.

a retirement home in Oxford, PA

 where i worked as a

Physical Therapist Assistant.

we walked thru the common area.

the t.v. was on.

and i saw a re-play of a plane flying into the world trade center.

i stopped.

and i listened.

in the middle of the hallway.

i heard the news anchor say that it was believed

 that this was a terroist attack.

stunned.

i shuddered.

we left early that day.

you know.

i believe that God sifts all things thru his fingers. all things.

sometimes i wonder why God allows things like this to happen.

but i listen to the stories.

i look at the pictures.

and well. i was shaken to tears when i visited

ground zero ~over~ a year ago.

my eyes filled with tears, watching images on the tv last night.

trying to explain to kaden, this little piece of history.

i cannot imagine.

the sheer terror. the nightmare of it all.

but i do know that God worked in a mighty way in that city.

he worked in a mighty way around the world

all. thru. that. event.

that horrific tragic taking of life.

i think of all the people who died.

but then i think of all the people who lived.

all the people who were saved.

saved from those buildings.

and saved spiritually. thru that attack.

i wonder. just wonder.

how many people God drew to his heart that day?

so. i continue to value life.

the sheer blessing it is to live. here.

to watch my kids.

even when they are fighting. and not sharing.

and don't put their cereal bowls in the sink.

or clean their rooms.

i don't know how God chose me to be so blessed.

to be a wife.

and mom to 5 healthy kids.

to be a daughter.

and sister.

and the list goes on and on.

 i really do try to be thankful for each day that i have.
and not take my life for granted.
hope you have a reflective day, filled with peace.

daniel study.

this is the Bible Study that just started at my church...

i find that if i am not intentional in participating in a study like this,

well...

i just don't get in the word, like hardly at all...on a daily basis.

we just had our first week,

and i am so excited...i am fired up ready to see how God is going to

use this material to impact my life and my family.

check it out.



(if you want to come,

it's not too late.

books are $15. we meet on wednesday mornings

at Maple Grove...and a huge part...

child care is provided.

yay!)

this is what got me from this past week:

we have an abundance of overindulgent choices...it's time we get extremely intentional and deliberate in making our choices.

• we are surrounded/living amidst a Babylon of our own...much more than some other cultures in the world.
• we are overwhelmed in a sea of self absorption. how do we know what's over the top and too much?
• we, too, will lose our identity and integrity without resolve. (resolve= to be puposed and determined in your heart)
• how can we live in the midst of "babylon" and not become corrupted and defiled by it? are we being carried away by it?
• few could resist Babylon's charms. few had a firm enough hold on reality not to fall for her pretense. our primary goal during part 1 of our series is to join daniel as individuals who can live in an extravagant, excessive culture without being poisoned by it. we're going to develop alarms for Babylon's charms...

and a challenge Beth Moore threw out to us all...is to deny ourselves something over the time of this study. her words, " do not make this a diet...
women will have a tendency to make this a diet, but that is not what i am after." ha.ha. :)
but...in my words, this just might come in handy, at a good time for me. :)

she encouraged us to not eat of the worlds table. to exercise a little restraint.

"i can, but i am not going too."

deny your flesh, and rebel against the worlds overindulgence.

so. that is what i am going to do.

i am not a fast and pray girl.

i have gotton out of the fasting part, because,

well, mainly, i have been pregnant or nursing for most of the past 8 years. :)

but it is time.

i am resolving in big, big way.

i am giving up desserts to fulfill this challenge.

i am a dessert kind of girl.

this is ~extremely~ hard.

i have given them up for, um, this is only my 2nd day,

and i have been tempted numerous times already.

and well...i am taking a meal to a friend tonight,

and what am i making for dessert?

what i have been ~craving~ for the past 2 days...

chocolate chip cookie whoopie pies.

i am writing this down so you can keep me accountable.

help me people. :)

more of a mommy letting go.

i have said this before,

and i will say it again...

one of my jobs as a mother, is not to hold so tightly onto my children,

but to let go.

i had to do that again this week.

i had a new experience.

i took calli, who will turn 3 next month,

 for a speech evalution,

 at the chester county intermediate unit.

the instructions for campbell and i, 

were to sit there and be quiet, to not help calli answer any questions. 

i think it was harder for campbell, but it was hard for me too...

not to "re-phrase" some questions,

to help her understand what they were asking her to do.

i realized this is what i have been doing.

i re-phrase things, or ask questions to her in different ways,

so she understands me.

i ask her to show me things, or point to things, if i cannot

understand her speech.

these things all being helpful for me, but not for her learning to speak.

these are all things i have done with my 3 prior children...

but i need to do things a little differently for calli.

it was a sad time of reflection for me to sit there and watch.

while calli is very advanced, on the 3 year old spectrum, in a lot of areas,

she is a little bit behind in her speech.

and it was so hard to see her "thinking"

trying to put together what this woman was asking her to do.

she really did great...

but did start to cry at the end, with 3 words to go.

my little heart broke.

my baby.

stressed out and overwhelmed. at 3.

ugh.

i learned she does not put "ing" on the ends of words.

and that she does not use plurals. at all.

these are things i could not tell you,

i just knew she was not speaking clearly.
was i too busy to notice?
i question...

it was hard because i sat there and thought about my time with her.

and realized again, that i can not do it all.

i cannot "be" it "all".

how can i?

i guess i did not read as much to calli, as i have to my other kids.

i do not sit down with her, and go over pictures in a book.

i have not specifically paid attention to her speech, until now,

and she's already behind.
and i question again...what am i busy with?
how can i make sure my children get what they need from me?

i am going to try to be more intentional
with helping her in this area,
(just as i was more intentional
with helping kaden learn to read last year...)

all this to say,

she will be getting speech therapy at the elementary school,

twice a week, come november.

so...i pray for her. and i pray for me. :)

that it wouldn't be overwhelming for her.

that she can still be a kid.

and play. and have fun.

and learn to talk more clearly. :)

thanks for hearing me get this out.

it's all a little overwhelming for me too. :)

now...to move onto this mess of a house.

i am a bit behind, on all in my life.

how does that happen so quickly?

:)

p.s. these songs are appropriate for my life right now...

but were chosen specifically for their "rain" theme...

how about this rain?

dear aunt nik...

this is for you aunt nik...

(our good missionary friend in the dominican)

karolina grace at 6 weeks old.

learning to coo and smile.

so very tolerant of the many pokes, prods, squeezes

and abundant hugs and kisses she gets daily...

 

happy labor day.

don't work too hard. :)

campout. an annual tradition?

because kaden's birthdy fell the day after karolina was born,

we didn't celebrate in our usual fashion this year.

i usually host "family" birthday parties thru their 6 th birthdays.

then, when they turn 7 years old, they can chose to have a friend over

to do something special with, or continue to have a family party.

kaden loves family.

he loves his cousins most of all,

so for both his 7th and 8th birthdays, he has continued
to chose a "family" party.

this  year, since we re-vamped our pond, he was wondering if we could have a

campout for is party.

absolutely.

so. this was the winning weekend.

not all could come, but we sure did have fun with those that did...
which included: mam-maw and pap-paw buckwalter (did not spend the night),
cousins: judah, noah and zion buckwalter,
uncle chris and cousin jaiden burkholder,
great uncle stanley and great aunt sue king,
emiley and gemma rodak (did not spend the night)
and friends james and donna graybill stopped in for some cake. :)

take a look.

these were taken as the campers were walking up for breakfast,

hence it looking a little bit deserted.

karolina, calli and i held down the fort up at the house.

that way we had breakfast ready for them at 8 a.m. :)

we had hot dogs and smores over the campfire fri. night,

along with root beer floats, and cake and ice cream.

and even some whoopie pies and watermelon.

millie getting instruction in fetching in the water.

she loves to swim.

it's kinda fun to play with her in the water.

canoeing.

happy birthday around the camp fire.

matt's uncle stanley and aunt sue came.

they had a mattress they slept on in the back of their truck.

had to get them on video.

they are a riot. a good, fun riot. :)

 

and we ended the time together with some baseball...

the crew.



couldn't find kaycee...
she decided she wanted to take a nap on the truck bed. :)
guess i need to do some cleaning up now...
what do ya think?

until next Labor Day weekend. :)

a gift.

friends from church had twins this week.

number 6 and 7 boys in their family.

i can't wait to meet them.

i made them onesies with their initials on, and a matching burp cloth...

just in case people can't tell them apart. :)

d is for darren.

j is for judd.



hope they like them. :)

so. then i had to make one for my little peanut too.
k for karolina...
isn't she growing?  :)

happy 37th babe...

happy 37 years birthday to my man.

the man who picked me.

don't know why? but i am sure glad he did. :)

(most of the time, anyway. :) )

(from motorcycle trip last summer, 2010)

won't be too special of a day, as we get 24,000 chickens today,

and more tomorrow, and well...we already have 24,000 here as of monday.

farming continues, as does life...

but maybe we can squeeze in some partying later tonight.

dinner, perhaps?

we'll see.

happy birthday matt.

love you.

xoxo. ~mk.