thank you.*

it is no surprise that i am kind of a bawling mess right now.

i am a *cry baby*.

i think i cried at all of my graduations.

i cried everytime i came home from college and had to leave again. my WHOLE freshman year.

eeeekkkk.

my wedding.

my babies births.

every funeral i have ever been too.

anything sad.

and sometimes happy things too.

you need a good cry...i am your girl.

i am also thinking a bit how rediculous i am at times.
how the Landis' had to say their final forever good-byes yesterday to their little boy.
their little boy who fought cancer for 2 years.
ugh.
i cannot imagine.
trying to grasp the glory of re-uniting one day in heaven...and
until then. pictures and memories will have to do.
i am so sorry for all this pain on earth, that we will never understand...
only trusting in God's great, great plan...

and here i stand.

i am realizing how lucky and blessed i am.

my family

and

friends are coming out of the woodwork.

even my kids teachers from this year, and years passed...

emailing, texting and instagraming, :) (my newest favorite addiction.) me, and phone calls...

how great my trip is going to be, how excited they are for me...

how they are going to hug on my kids a little extra. :)

the list goes on and on.

the thing is you all know i am a cry baby...

so the Lord is prompting your spirits to encourage me, because He and You know.

i need it.

:)

thank you again so much.

today will be a day of cleaning and laundry,
writing cards to the kids and leaving surprise love notes on cereal boxes they find when i am gone.
i have bought so much junk food and little fun gifts for them to open...
i guess that's the guilt in me, or that i love gifts, so i give them. kind of often.

and finalizing that i can really get that zipper shut on my borrowed suitcase. :)

[i wanted to buy REALLY cute luggage on clearance at t.j.maxx.

it was navy with little red and pink hearts on it.

i thought it would blend into this feminine family just great.

*but* i didnt' get the "clearance" i was hoping for.

so we borrowed luggage.

it's great. thanks kendra and marilyn!!]

i think my kids are going to have a blast.

i mean. a babysitter for 10 days?  :)
with junk food.

i hope to do some posting in chile...

continue to pray for us.

for a momma who can disengage, with far less tears in my opinion, is best.

(my kids have not seen me cry yet...BONUS),
the babysitter. :) the kids. me.,

for health...matt is feeling better, but still cranky, :(,

good flights, safety, a breeze thru customs, protection,

our spanish, our construction skills, team unity, great warm and sunny weather,

(the weather forecast is going from 80s, to 70s, to 60s and some rain, all in the time we are there!!)

the list is endless.

i covet your prayers.

big time.



("it's you flying away mom," campbell (age 5.9999) she will turn 6 on tuesday. )



until we meet again.

xoxo.

~mis.

oh. and HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPPY and AUNT NIK.
(don't get confused. our good friend Nicole. she's not our aunt. but feels like it. :) )

i don't think i ever posted a picture of my new quilt.



this was made by my dad's parents.
richard and sara.
my grandfather has cross stitched ever since i can remember.
and my grandmother has quilted since i was a child.
many memories of each of them includes cross stitching and quilting.
and letting me try on occassion. :)

this quilt was needle pointed by my grandfather and quilted by my grandmother.
the most special part about it is that my grandmother cannot see much anymore...
so she is unable to quilt. something that brought her so much joy...
and i imagine prayer time too, sitting around all those quilt frames...

i found out the grand-daughters, there are 4 of us, were each getting to chose a quilt.
around the same time i ordered my bedroom set.
and while this will match my new bedroom, i would much rather preserve it for awhile,
and keep it hanging in my kitchen. :)
it receives many more complements there!!

isn't it gorgeous?
the HOURS that went into this is crazy.
i am so blessed to add this to my collection of afghans, and another quilt i already have,
and all my cross stitch pieces...
i love having special things from family...generations.

i have several dishes from each of matt's grandmothers, and some quilts
and huge old crocks filled with homemade soap,
and a mennonite cookbook with favorite recipes marked,
all who have passed on already,
and several dishes from my mom's mom too.
and my favorite cookbook, with her penciled favorite recipes in the front.
it's the best.
i treasure it all...

a much happier note to end on. :)

impossible. possible.

it's becoming reality.

i will accompany my husband to chile. along with 9 others. in just over a week.

i have bathed this trip in prayer for about a year.

i questioned. i wrestled. i sought wisdom.

it is here. it is happening. and i am going along.

i am teary about leaving my kids.

that started yesterday.

don't know if the rest of my team is prepared for that. :( 

but that's how this momma rolls.

i hope to be better once i get there.

and my heart lets go a bit.

started writing things down for the sitter.

it's going to be a book.

eeekkkk.

and updated my kids journals.

xoxo. :)

do you know what goes into a momma leaving her babies...leaving the country?

whew.

it's wearing me out.

anyway. as i run around and prepare. and pack.

and give more kisseys.

and keep giving medicine...we are still "not quite right" around here.

talking things and questions thru with the littles.

kaden and kaycee are very detail oriented when it comes to mommy leaving.

e-mailing teachers. measuring luggage.

stocking the freezer.

this song has become my inspiration.

for leaving. for serving Jesus this day.

i hope people see Jesus in me.

not just in Chile. or the airport.

everyday.

i hope people see Jesus in my face. in my heart.

everyday.

this trip seemed to be the impossible.

i seem incapable.

(i haven't spoken spanish in a good 16 years...you know)

smile. and wink. right? :)

but Jesus makes the impossible possible.

the incapable more than able.

He is the WATER that NEVER runs DRY.

this prayer for my children...

that they would find the living water...

the water that never runs dry.

listen.

AND...i am finally on instagram.

just what you wanted to hear... :)

follow me at:

melissa_erin14

hope to post lots of chile pics. :)

thanks so all of my dear friends who are praying for me.

i love.love.love. it...

please pray for us the whole time. :)

the kids. the babysitter. our team.

you got it. 

xoxo.

~mk.

the parent drop off lane and 7.

so. we have a parent drop off lane at school.

do you?

there are posted signs.

do not pass.

and we have gotton literature instructing "us", the parents, do not get out of your vehicle.

 the stipulation is to pull up as far as you can,

child hops out of car,

you move on.

HOWEVER...

it seems there is a BOATLOAD of parents these days,

who do not heed any written instruction.

and then we wonder why our kids don't listen?

fascinating to me.

why is it necessary for moms to pull up in the line.

not to the very front.

but right in front of the building.

(i guess so their child has the shortest distance to walk into the building.)

put their car in park.

get out of the car.

walk around the car, to the rear passenger door.

open the door.

kid pops out.

then proceed to hug and kiss child.

then walk back around the car.

get in.

look around.

and wait. and watch. 

 until your child walks IN the door.

proceed to pull away.

while the drop off line goes to 12 cars long.

this problem has become MUCH worse since the tragedy in CT.

i love to hug and kiss my kids when they first get up.

in my house. in their beds. or around our kitchen island.

now.

i am not a huggy/kissy person. ESPECIALLY in public.

shoot. my kids don't even want a hug and kiss in the car anymore. :)

i know we are all different.

but it irks me ~every~ morning.

and i am not exaggerating at all.

the line is for sure 12 cars long.

and when you have different buildings to go to...

it sure takes a lot of time to watch all these hugs and kisses take place.

it's especially funny.

because i see these kids pop out of the car, on their own, in grocery store parking lots,

at church on Sunday mornings, and even little league games.

but the school drop off line.

no way.

mommy better do it.

sorry for the judgement.

i just had to get that off my chest. :)

and if you are one of the mommies who do this.

i am sure i still love you anyway. but now you know.

this does get on my nerves.

my problem. i know.

i am working on it.

we now leave 5 minutes early. to wait in line. :)

*******************************************************

now. on to a book i have finished just in time for my trip to Chile...

7 is the true story of how Jen (along with her husband and her children to varying degrees) took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence. In the spirit of a fast, they pursued a deeply reduced life in order to find a greatly increased God.

have you read it?

it is astounding. astounding the way it REALLY made me think about my life...

here are some of my highlights, and i quote...

"In so many ways I am the opposite of Jesus' lifestyle.This keeps me up at night.I can't have authentic communion with Him while mired in the trappings He begged me to avoid.
i wouldn't dare call this negative reaction to 7 persecution since that would be laughable. Jesus, was always misunderstood for His counterculteral ideas:
~The least shall be the greatest.
~Blessed are the meek.
~Humble yourself like a child.
~Sell all your things and give to the poor.
~Don't gain the world only to forfeit your soul.
I can't imagine these were popular ideas either. He seriously knew how to thin out a crowd. He always gunned for less, reduced, simplified. He was the most fully and completely unselfish, ungreedy, unpretentious man to ever live, and I just want to be more like Him. It's as simple and hard as that."


"There is no end to my advantages. For whatever reason I was born into privilege; I've never known hunger, poverty, or despair. I have been blessed, blessed, blessed-relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. My life is so happy it's almost embarrassing."


"We were a crowd of women in ponytails and old jeans, not trying to impress one another or paste on a Christian face. I wish women could regularly enjoy this freedom together, liberated from competition and comparison. There is something so marvelous about women comfortable in their own skin...God reminded me that gathering the saints is powerful not because we look our finest or make a big production of the details but because we unite to seek Jesus. I suspect God is more glorified in a humble room of earnest worshippers than a massive production designed to sound "relevant" to the listeners but no longer relevant to God. When the worship of God turns into a "worship experience", we have derailed as the body of Christ."


"If the poor cannnot be enriched enough to become consumers, then grown-ups in the First World who are currently responsible for 60 percent of the world's consumption, and with vast disposable income but few needs, will have to be enticed into shopping...This is why I have 327 items of clothes in my closet....I am part of the problem, a contributing member of inequality. Every time I buy another shirt I don't need or a 7th pair of shoes for my daughter, I redirect my powerful dollar to the pockets of consumerism, fueling my own greed and widening the gap. Why? Because I like it. Because they are cute. Because I want that..."

"But all together, we've spent enough to irrevocably change the lives of a hundred thousand people. What did I get for that budgeting displacement? Closets full of clothes we barely wear and enough luxuries to outfit twenty families. This is hard to process, so it helps to imagine standing in front of the families of my Ethiopian children, who were too poor and sick to raise their own beloved babies. As I gaze upon their hopelessness, I imagine them calculating what I've spent on clothing alone, realizing that same amount would've kept their family fed and healthy for thirty years."


****************************************

so...i guess that's enough of some of my favorite thought provoking and guilt inducing lines...
I am not even a quarter of the way thru my highlites.

it was a very good read for me...





tried so kick some sickness out of the kids today,
by playing outside a bit...

happy friday.

hApPy vAleNtinEs DaY...

good morning friends.

Happy Valentine's Day!

are you doing anything special to show your loved one's how delighted you are

to have them in your life?



cheers!!

hoping your day is as full of sugar as mine.

i was going to jump from ice cream party to ice cream party today...

but alas, will miss one. kaycee woke up with a high fever today. it disappeared yesterday afternoon,

but is fiercly back this morning.

poor girl. :(

seems to be the first year of ice cream parties...

don't know how i feel about that?

simply for all those kids who are allergic to dairy.



boo.



(kaycee is a book worm...so she picked a bookmark valentine
to make out of a paper clip and ribbons,) they
look pretty cute in a book. :)



(campbell's are sewing cards...loved how they turned out...i like you SEW much. :)  )



horrible. making my sick kids try to look happy with their valentines. :)



(kaden's are a heart with a pencil, that say "i think you are just write"...cute, right?)  :)

my kids got those cool doodle books.

and flavored milk straws. yum.

have you seen them?

my sister showed them to me...of course. :)

i got them at barnes and nobles.

they are so much fun. i LOVE to do them.

i told kaden if he didn't want his, that I did. :)

they have parts of the pictures drawn, and then ask you to finish the picture...

or like have half of the ball gown colored, and you finish it...

fun stuff.

have a very happy heart day. :)

sewing. of sorts. and a trip to chile.

1 sick kid home yesterday.

she is better, and hopped into school today.

2 more home today.

these are the older, more whiney ones. lol. :)

so. i mentioned i was "filling" some orders the other week.

so i thought i would post some pics of baby things i embellish, and make.

very simple.

believe me. :)

that being said, these items are never exactly alike.

each unique.

and while i dream of some day opening a little etsy shop of fun stuff.

now is not the time.

(and maybe there never will be a right time, i am not sure.)

i want to do it "right", if i do it,

and i definately can't do it "right" just now...

so...i continue to dream. :)

(this hat had been in my gift drawer for some time...it happened to be karolina's size...
so...now we have a new birdie hat) :)

(burp cloths...)

(a onesie and matching burp cloth)

i also started making some bracelets i found on pinterest of course. i love.love.love them...

they are reversible...nothing but fun. and casual. nothing dressy about them. :)

and that's about all.

more of what's been keeping me busy.

i hope to post tomorrow my Valentine wishes,

and post some pictures of our Valentine decored home...

**********************************************

campbell was the peanut home sick yesterday.

she told me, "i am really going to miss you when you are in chile."

eeeekkkk. sadness for mommy to hear.

(did you hear i am going to try surfing while i am there?
haaaa. haaaa. haaa.
however, surfing is big at the beaches in chile,
while skiing is big in the mounains...
which we might be spending some time in...although no skiing. :)
 will just be starting into their winter season,
which is 70 degree temps in the day, and colder nights...)

it's such a hard thing.

i feel like i get such

hmmm. crap?, criticism? judgement? 

from people about leaving my kids for 10 days.

which is totally fine. well. maybe not totally fine.

but i am trying not to get offended. :)

i guess it's hard for me to do,

so then when i feel judged about it, it feels *way* more harder.

does that even make sense?

i am trying to pep talk myself into it.

1. i loved matt first.

let's face it, in a house full of five kids, he isn't always my top priority.

i try really, really hard, for him *to be*, but it just doesn't work out all the time.

he might say, most of the time, but i hope not. :)

he craves time away with me, being in places he loves.

and this is one of those places.

2. a part of matt's heart is in chile.

this will be his fourth trip there...

and it has been talked about for years, that wives would go this time.

it will be hard...our friend glenda, will not be there with her husband bill...

(she was the one in a bike accident this summer, and died in sept.)

and we had talked about this trip together. boo.

all that to say...i can't wait to see and experience what matt fell in love with there.

3. i love for my kids to see matt and i go away together. alone.

i think it's important.

yes. 10 days is long.

i agree.

but i pray that the Lord would stir in our hearts as a married couple of almost 13 years,

and as parents to our children...

as i go, and spend time with chilean children...

what do my kids need to learn? what can i do better in america?

4. we dream of going on mission trips with our children. someday.

to other countries.

there is something that will mold them. when they see poverty.

and see the genuine happiness that "things" don't get you. that "money" can't buy...

we long to serve the Lord in that capacity with our kids.

5. These children were a blessing to me. to us. from God.

he will sustain them, and take care of them, as he takes care of me, and us.

i am trusting in that.

my faith is in the Lord. and his provision for my family.

thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

i am praying for traveling safety and mercies,

for good health for our children, their babysitter, and our team,

for a servant's heart,

for team unity,

for my children to not miss a beat...that it's helpful for them to stay in their routine...

that their routine would distract them from missing their mommy and daddy..., 

for abounding grace,

for love...

(salt harvesting)

please join me in praying for our trip.

i am missing my cousin's wedding, and another cousin's baby shower...

you know weddings and babies are 2 of my most favorite things ~eva~. :)

pray that i wouldn't get homesick for my babies. :)

that my heart would be present, where it needs to be present...

and pray for anything else the Lord would bring to your mind...

xoxo.

until then.

well wishes, to you and yours...



a peak.

so. 2 babies with fevers. and sore throats. and sore ears.

boo.

but. this affords me some extra time to blog today.
fevers & movies. they go hand in hand. :)

FINALLY
a peak into our bedroom.

the stripping of the wallpaper and painting went very, very quickly.
i used behr paint/primer in one which i LOVEd.
gray color= porpoise, and yellow=chickadee. that just sounds happy, right?
hmmm. and i used some  porch/floor paint in some color of white for the floor. :)

it was the acquiring of my bedding
and the making of my curtains that took more like. forever. :)



i made the curtains out of simple white flat sheets from target.
my tutorial came from here.

may i remind you that i am a self taught sewer.
and though my husband was getting frustrated at how long it was taking me,
i must say, the making of the curtains went very quickly...and almost seamlessly.

(minus my sewing maching ruffler foot breaking. ugh.
that was like the greatest invention ever if you are making ruffles...i need to take it back and
see if i can get a new one...needless to say, i had to do them the more time consuming way...)

the problem is that domestic engineers are not afforded huge chunks of time to sit and sew.
 and measure.
and pin.
so. it seemed like my little sewing station was "messing up" the basement for some time.
which it was. but i was not about to clean it up. to get it right back out again.

:)

plus i was helping the kids make their valentines.
matt was wondering why i don't just buy a pack at the store.
"because we just don't do it that way", was my reply.

:)

i am now working on some pictures and canvases to put above our bed...
and catch up on the laundry and deskwork i have neglected the past few days.

 update: i have been swallowed by a germ fest.
my 2 eldest came home to join my youngest and middle...4 children sick.
eeeekkkkk. save me...

half.time.

i made my family turn off the half time show.

i know beyonce is slammin' but really???
a prime time event like the superbowl?
bummer.

was glad i came back in time to see this commercial.




i think i came from a long line of farmers. well. and pastors.
and i happened to marry a farmer.
who would have thought?

certainly. not. me.

sure glad i did. marry him. i mean.
he sure does make me happy *a lot of*  the time. :)

he works so hard. i am thankful for my heritage. and my life.


***************************

on another note.

i kept putting off making my curtains.
i am going to try them *tonight* and THEN i will post pictures of my bedroom i LOVE.

i have LOTS of pillows on the bed. matt HATES them.
it is a lot. :)

****************************

will also post some pictures soon.
i won't bother promising. i did that last time.
and failed.

****************************

this learning thing sure is tough.
keeping up with my kids. what they are learning. how they are learning.
are they succeeding. and what do i do if they are struggling?
i am finding out i might have to be *one of those* parents.
do you know the ones i mean?

carry on. have a great night.