all kinds of tears over here.

call it a midlife crisis.
or maybe just the fact that 4 of my children are in school,
and i actually have quiet to think.

i don't know?

i am 38 years old...almost 40...

and i can't shake the fact that i have 5 children.
and am little by little losing control.

maybe i never had it...but i like to think i did. ;)

some might call me a perfectionist.
[although i am pretty sure my husband would not...
he thinks i am pretty much a hot mess these days.
my floors are unswept, there is dust everywhere...it is a miracle when laundry is
     folded and put away...]

but back to my point...i might like control?

and it is dawning on me, how very little i have...
especially with this parenting thing.

and this song...
i can't stop listening to it.

[andrew peterson has been a favorite of mine...well, since i can remember...sings real life].

my feelings exactly.

Lord help me.
Amen.