check this out.

you know that i thought i had it altogether until a couple months ago. i mean i really thought that when me and my family went out and about, which is a lot, that we look like we have it altogether. our kids look well behaved, and we are pretty put together and  look like a  normal american family.

i now know, that once you have 4 kids, you do not look like a "normal" american family, but a little more abnormal. and it doesn't matter how well behaved my kids are being, we still look like chaos to others. i don't know how many kids you have to have to qualify, but i now know that we do. and as "together" as i "think" we look, we still look like a chaos to the on-lookers around us.

why did it take me so long to figure this out? i am not sure? someone has taken the time to ask me a couple of times in the past couple of months, "are you okay?" hmmmm. in these instances, i AM okay, and am always surprised by the question. it's funny that i am always in the church foyer, always getting coats on my kids...(this means helping the older ones with theirs, while trapping the little ones, so they can't get away before i get to them) :) it never occurred to me (until this person had asked me this question) that i am showing something else...either by my actions, or my facial expressions, or something? and now, since she has done it a number of times, during the same instance, in the same place...i have realized...i "think" i look like i have it together, when apparently, i am looking a little haphazard? un-organized? i don't know how i must look, but it must not be good, since i am getting this question over again and again. my answer? i am fine, just trying to get the coats on my kids, that's all.

so now i wonder how i look all the time, when i am out and about. do people think this about me all the time, and i don't know it? i am happy with my life, and though this is "my normal" and i am used to it, am i showing people something i am unaware of? and here i thought i was giving the world a "go ahead, have 4 kids, it's so much fun...if we can do it anyone can..." when in reality people are thinking we are crazy? i don't know...it has me thinking.

regardless of my looks to be chaotic lifestyle...you really should check out this blog...and read her latest post entitled "don't be too harsh on us"...if you want to get a glimpse into my life. it's perfect...except for the fact that she has 7 kids and i only have 4.  ;)  http://resolved2worship.xanga.com/.  ~mk.