submission.

another few concepts from: Feminine Appeal: Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother by Carolyn Mahaney. and now i am officially moving onto my next book on the pile. :)

The whole idea of submission was a real challenge for me. I knew what Scripture said in Titus, Ephesians, and 1 Peter-I just didn't like those parts very much! You see, I was raised to be very independent. I was strong and self-sufficient. I thought I was capable of taking care of myself and doing a pretty good job of it. I didn't like being led. I liked leading. This was especially true when it came to my schedule and how I spent money. (hmmm. this did spike my interest. :)) And because I wanted to make decisions about these things on my own, Kevin and I had some heated conflicts! I made it very difficult for my husband to lead.

Scripture sheds light on this struggle to submit- for Marianne and for the rest of us. One of the consequences of the Fall for women, it says in Genesis 3:16, is that their "desire shall be for [their] husband[s]."

The form  and context of the word desire actually has a negative connotation-an urge to manipulate, control, or have a mastery over. Because of the curse, we now have a sinful tendency to want our own way and resist our husband's authority. This evil desire poses the greatest opposition to our submission.

So we see that the submissive wife-far from being the weak-willed woman our culture portrays-is actually a model of inner-strength. By God's grace, she has conquered this opposition within her own heart. It is actually weakness on display when a wife is not submissive; she is only caving in to her natural inclination to usurp authority and demand her own way. That doesn't take any effort at all...

...The requirement to submit to our husbands comes straight from God, to us as wives. And we are answerable to Him for our obedience. We cannot blame our husbands for our lack of submission. The responsibility is entirely ours!..

....Submission, in its simplest form, is trust in God, who is completely trustworthy. He is our loving Father who controls every detail of our lives-past, present, and future. He lavishes us with goodness and blessing, and He measures our pain and adversity-all for our good and His glory...

...the question we must answer, then, is: Am I prepared to trust God to lead my husband, to lead me?" As Susan Hunt says: The true woman is not afraid to place herself in a position of submission. She does not have to grasp; she does not have to control. Her fear dissolves in the light of God's covenant promise to be her God and to live within her. Submission is simply a demonstration of her confidence in the sovereign power of the Lord God...

it's me here again...so...the bold is totally what struck me. how i was gently reminded it's a me and God thing...it's totally not a "my husband shouldn't be treating me like that thing, or i can't believe he just did that kind of thing", it's an all or nothing me and God thing. Totally. That's all. Wow.