Happy 5th Birthday!!

[i am continuing to have problems with blogger. ugh. i cannot load pictures from my phone. i cannot make corrections once i am in blogger. it's a mess. but i don't have time to deal with it. nor have i taken time to deal with it in the past 2 months. so....excuse my lack of posts. lack of pictures. and lack of uniformity in general. someday it will get fixed. ugh. sorry. :((( ]

my contractions started at 7:30 that sunshiney saturday morning 5 years ago.

[according to my journal it got to be around 74 degrees outside that day.]

a tad bit different than the weather we are having today.

crazy amounts of rain, and was forecast to barely reach 60 degrees.

i am thankful calli was born 5 years ago, on a beautiful warm day. :)

i kind of forget what went on here.

i guess my mom was maybe working? so i didn't want to call her.

and i don't remember if my inlaws were out of town, or what?

but i called my sister, to pack up her kids and get down here so we could leave for the birthcenter.

she lived in downtown lancaster.

[you can find out more about where i deliver my babies here.]

in the meantime, we decided to leave...our friend aunt nik came to stay with the kids until meg got here.

we passed meg coming in the drive, as we were leaving.

you know the "try to smile and wave and look okay" thing thru the window. : /

 

calli ann was born at 10:34 in the water. just like i desire my babies to be born.

i remember arriving at birthcare. my midwife had the warm jacuzzi all ready and waiting.

i hopped in.

[i have my babies naturally, in the water...it's the best...really. no meds desired...that's just how i roll.]

things were going fine.

i remember looking at the clock at 9:30 a.m.

and saying, "what's taking so long. she should be here by now."

[kaden's hospital birth was crazy long...kaycee and campbell's water births were both 2.5 hours, and 2 hours, so i was expecting no longer that 2 this time around. :))  ]

my midwife reassured me that everything was fine, and that it

"might" just be a bigger baby than my others.

[let me tell you my smallest baby at this point was 7.12, and my largest was 8.4]

hmmmm. :)

monitors were monitoring baby, and all sounded well at this point.

long story short. calli arrived at 10:34 a.m.

i pulled her up onto my chest, and she looked right into my eyes.

she wasn't crying, but i remember being completely relaxed because she was "here".

she opened her big blue eyes and looked right into mine...

i remember that vividly.

 

now is where my mind gets a little funny.

that day i could have told you that nothing was wrong.

but as i think back on that day, i know that there was quiet alarm in that room.

my baby was not responding in any other way.

she was not crying.

she was a little bit blue.

and was laying limply on my chest, as i was patting her

and talking to her.

i do remember my midwife saying, "pat her harder mis, pat her harder."

and i did. she grabbed calli, and really hit her back. hard.

she then blew in her face.

and she then started blowing in calli's mouth.

i was completely calm until i saw her breath into calli's mouth.

like she was giving her mouth to mouth, and i was just "getting" what was really going on.

and just as i was going to PANIC, calli started screaming.

just.like.that.

i want to say i love where i give birth.

and i want to give them crazy high fives for the way they responded in that situation.

you see. because in a hospital. there would have been beeping. and panic.

and grabbing of baby. and wisking her away without an explanation.

[which in my opinion does no good for anyone, but that's another post. :))  ]

i asked matt today if he felt panic in that room.

he said no.

i asked him if he knew what was going on,

and he said, "it's just like we did to baby pigs all the time."

;))))))))

somewhere in there, it was noted that there was a knot in calli's cord.

the placenta was healthy, so the guess would be that the knot was not tight until i delivered her.

and because she was a big baby, she was moving down the birth canal slower than usual.

the knot got tight. cutting off calli's air supply.

my midwife gave me a staggering statistic that day.

MOST of the deliveries she has, that involve a knot in the cord, result in death.

a) the baby dies in utero, because they cannot get sufficient food. or

b) the baby dies at birth, because the knot gets too tight cutting off supply to the baby during delivery.

now. at that time ultrasound was not able to pick up knots in cords in utero.

i have a feeling today, that that is not the case...

regardless. we experienced a miracle that day EITHER way you look at that scenario.

calli's life is a complete MIRACLE.

i will never forget.

i will never forget her looking into my eyes.

as if to say, "hi mom."

all of calli's baby scores were great.

so that. was that.

enough to calm a mother's concerned heart and spirit.

and i never looked back.

i don't know how many of my friends know about calli's birth story.

yes. i told people she had a knot in the cord.

i told some people she was a little blue.

but i don't know if i ever really relayed the "whole" story.

i guess it was just too hard. i don't know?

anyway...we love you calli ann.

you are a gift. a treasure. a MIRACLE from the Lord.

calli LOVES karolina fiercely.

it's awesome to watch her with her.

she LOVES preschool.

writing, coloring, reading books, playing school, and house, playing with horses.

calli loves to do everything her big sisters do. even what they tell her too. :)
she is patient. she has a quiet gentle spirit.
she does not like to clean up so much.
she LOVES to help mommy. fold laundry. set the table. bake. loves it all.
she does not appreciate cleaning up toys so much.
she smiles with her eyes. :)

she really loves to pray. and sing.
it's times when i overhear her doing this i just want to freeZe. for mUch later. :))

i love her. we love her.
we are so happy she is in our family.

here's to a few days of celebrating CALLI ANN.

[kaden 5, kaycee almost 4, campbell 19 months, calli is a few weeks old here...i love this picture.]    

[calli with newborn cousin piper...born 3 weeks before karolina...]                                 

i just told someone this week. i love being a mom much more than i ever thought i would...
i love my life.
my kids add soooo much to me.
xoxo.