joanna gaines. and a snippet about my thoughts on technology.

so. let's be honest.

technology. i feel like Satan has a field day using techology in our day and age.
sure. there has always been the same problems of our day, as in days gone by.
BUT...i feel as if they are skyrocketing to a whole new level.
Satan has a whole new platform to use, to tear apart families and relationships.

that being said. most of my friends know that matt and i are not a part of facebook.
something we decided years ago.
i remember joining for a brief milisecond, and this barely clothed female popped up on the screen.
as someone we "may" know.
now. i know you can set blocks and all kinds of things.
but this was "enough" for me to say, "no way."
and we both feel good about that decision.

sometimes it feels good to buck the trend. ya know?
we miss out on some things because we are not on facebook.
the world expects you to be "there", so that's how invitations are communicated now.
parties. and family gatherings. and even church things.
all.on.facebook.

what is my point?

well. as much as i hate facebook.
i love instagram. and pinterest.
and surely Satan is using these platforms to tear apart relationships as well.
mainly, i think of women.

women are wired differently from men.
God did that on purpose. i know.
but it's hard for women to not get sucked into comparing. and jealousy.
we struggle with such different things then men.

back to my point.

i came upon this video thru instagram yesterday.
this lady. joanna gaines. and her husband, chip.
they seem like a couple matt and i would get along with.
and maybe the whole world feels that way?
their show is awesome.
we only get to watch a teeny bit when we go to my mom's, when the girls are at ballet.
(but i am going to start watching re-runs on the computer...here we go again...technology). :))

but, i wanted to share it.
she speaks some of my passion for women. and dreams.
watch it.
and maybe their show too...it's called Fixer Upper.

and as much as Satan is using some of these platforms to tear families apart.
God is also using them to reach his people.
how is he using these platforms in your life?

i wonder?



https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=t7iPEDnqwm0

Heather Williams.

I know I am not writing on here like I love too.
Life has gotton the best of me.
I feel like I am running around serving people all the time.
That's what I do. That is what I love to do.
Most days. :))

Today the kids have a half day of school, so I am trying to get some things done,
before they come home, and undue them again.

haaaa. the life of a mother. you get something looking fabulous.
and it is undone in a matter of minutes.

they tell me, i am gonna miss that.
we'll see. :)

anyway, taking some time out to listen to Jesus this morning,
and thought i would share...


I heard this Hallelujah song the other day, and really loved it.

This morning, I found this...
Listen to it.

One of my husband's favorite lines (he has many) :)  is, "You always have a choice. YOU ultimately are the one to decide if you are going to wallow in your "woe is me, you don't understand, i was mistreated and abused, and...nevermind." It is up to you how you are going to handle life's disappointments.

And while this is true, there is so much more that goes into that.
This story is amazing.
So hard.
So powerful. What a testimony to God's power, right?






and the song that drew me to her, is this one...






Such horrific loss. There are no words.



*******************************************************************************

Thankful. I am thankful i have not experienced such grievous loss.
Thank you Jesus.

Have you felt the love of Jesus today?


I am running around getting laundry done.
Getting the house "read" up before Campbell's birthday party Sunday.
Karolina was up all night, coughing.
Somewhere hiding in all this strep throat, she caught a nasty cold.
But in my weariness, I have felt Jesus today.

Have you?

my new fave song.

listen.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year?

Did you have a Merry Christmas 2014?
i did.

Are you having a Happy New Year in 2015 so far?
i am.

I cannot believe time is flying by at warp speed. AGAIN.
ugh.

I may have mentioned before that my WORD for 2015 is SAVOR.
and, by the looks of my blog, it looks like I am living that up.
Savoring other things that is, and not taking the time I need too, to update here.

I used to be so good at making this a priority.
oh. how times have changed. :/

So. back to savoring.
i feel like life can change so drastically at any minute.
any. minute.
do you ever wonder when devestation will hit you?
like life has been too easy?
i have. i wonder. at the Lord's plan for me, and my family.
when will devestation strike us. and how will we handle it?
am i savoring NOW before tragedy hits?
that is my goal.
to SLOW down. to take life in. NOW.

to SAVOR.


what am i spending my days doing? how am i savoring this season that i am in?

well. besides the small task of serving the Lord the best way i know how...
thru serving and loving my family WELL, that seems to be taking a lot out of me.
that is just the mundane stuff.
like packing lunches x 4...i won't do the math.
and laundry. well. we won't do the math there either.
folding. and putting away. i fail MISERABLY at this. daily.
i hate having a clean pile of laundry laying somewhere to be folded.
but it happens so frequently. i am trying to work on that.
and dinners and lunches for matt, and whomever may stumble in for that time period.
and coffee and muffins.
trying to keep baked goods around here is crazy.

let me tell you a secret.
farmers find a way into your kitchen.
when they are welcomed with a hot cup of coffee and a homemade treat.
they just do.
they even forgive your clean laundry pile on the floor. (i think?)
and walk around it. to wash their hands. :))
and i love that. so i strive to do that around here.

so the mundane is keeping me busy.
trying to serve my family with a happy heart.
sometimes that is easy, and sometimes it is not.
it helps me to focus on serving the Lord.
i am striving to become more like Jesus in my lifetime.
and serving my family is how i can do that best in this season.

that is not even encorporating fun snuggly bedtimes.
or baths each night.
or all the other things that take up our time...like life groups, and dancing at cavod, and piano lessons, and children's church, and good news club at school, and baseball is about to start, and reading outloud to my kids, coloring with them, cooking with them...the list, it just goes on and on.

i am busy.
and i don't know how i would fit a job into this life of mine?
i am so very thankful and blessed that i do not "need" to work outside of the home,
during this busy season.
so.very.thankful.
and i don't take it for granted, for a minute.
thank you BABE for working hard for us!!
i so admire his strength, determination and work ethic!

he is such a hard worker.
and not a complainer.
i do not take this for granted either.
if i had to go outside today and WORK in it...i would complain.
i am almost sure of it.
it is a balmy 17 out this morning, and the wind is howling away.
i am dreading going to the store, with a 3 year old.
what an easy life i have!!

so. much has happened since i last posted.

For ONE. my first born baby girl, kaycee agnes, turned 10.
be still my heart, would you?
it is such an honor to be her mom.
we kid around all the time, because she is a LOT like her mama.
i guess this could kick me in the butt, pretty soon, but for now...

she is easy.
quiet. (which is a gift and sorrow all in one, i know.)
responsible.
smart.
determined.
beautiful.
simple. by this i mean jeans and sneaks.
and a scarf-that she knitted. and hair pulled back. i mean s.i.m.p.l.e.
she follows the rules.
modesty. no problem here.
(that is already a problem with her sister campbell, but we'll talk about that, another time.)  :))
kind hearted.
artistic. loves drawing. painting. singing. dancing. knitting. writing. scrapbooking.
she is starting to crave her own space.
that is hard. because well. she doesn't have any. :(
she must share a room, that is all there is to that.
i try to believe by having to share space and things, and space and things,
it will just make her one rock star of a fighter. :)) and appreciative.
maybe she will one day live in a small tiny village across the ocean.
loving on people. all in her space. and then i will know.
why it was important for her to learn to share now.
but, that would probably be too easy, now wouldn't it?
i wonder what she will BE?
a wife? a teacher? a doctor? a mom? a pharmacist? a dancer? who knows.
but i get excited dreaming about her future.

for TWO. i turned 37 years old.
eeeekkkkkkk.
i am getting old. my hands are aging, as well as all other parts of my body.
still no gray hair.
so i kind of love that.
matt is graying away. but for some reason, i find that very handsome on him. ;)
i had a great day of celebration. well. really week. kind of.
it was a fabulous day for me to reflect on my life.
and the woman i am becoming.

THIRDLY...
we traveled to the Eastern Shore for an extended Buckwalter family
gathering to celebrate my dad's parents 70th wedding anniversary, and upcoming 90th birthdays.

WOW. 90 years. and 70 years married to the same beautiful person?


the reality of  this being highly unusual these days.
in a world that is filled with cancer, and heart attacks and strokes, and tragic accidents all around, what a glorious time for our family.
to take it all in.
the generational blessings we are receiving from the mighty hand of the Lord.
the provision.
it's hard to grasp.

a time of catching up with family around the country.
my family (my dad, mom, and all their children-that's me, and our families, plus, one cousin and his wife, are the only locals).
the other's span the country...from California, to Colorado, to Conneticutt, and Virginia, and New Jersey...we don't see each other much anymore, and we are all so different. so, it's always kind of a hoot to catch up. overhearing stories of doctor's practices and how Obama care has impacted them, to teacher talk, to lawyer talk, to seminary talk, to just me. plain ol mom talk.
we span a lot.
A LOT.

it was a fun time to catch up. to hear stories of my dad and his siblings growing up. to think thru my own childhood again.

trying to get some pictures uploaded here...having a rough time.
ugh.

anyway...
hope to catch up again soon.

we were at the King Cabin in Potter County for the weekend.

Chickens come again next week. in the BLITZING cold.
i don't know how those little peeps are gonna keep warm. enough. ;(

plenty for another post.

stay warm where you are.
love each other well.
and read.
i didn't even mention i am savoring time with the Lord, AND
reading some really good books.

[like, i am in tears now, reading...

the hardest peace (expecting grace in the midst of life's hard)
by: kara tippetts.

a story of kara tippets. she knows the ordinary days of mothering four kids, the joy of watching her children grow...and the devestating reality of stage IV cancer.

it is HEART WRENCHING.
you can find her blog at: www.mundanefaithfulness.com.]

take care lovees,
xo.
mis.

in forever. AND my sunporch renovation.

so...life gets crazy,  hugh?

i was reminded of that this morning.
our district, had a 2 hour delay, which i really do love.
lazy school mornings, are one of the best things around, in my opinion.
infact...i am still in my sweats.
it seemed cozy enough to stay in them.
all.day.long.
i mean it was 7 degrees outside this morning.

i love that i can do that.
don't take it for granted for a SECOND people. :))

anyway, this particular morning i had 4 extra children.
it didn't really occur to me that that actually meant 9 children in the house.
until around 10 am, and by then, we only had a half hour more to go.
it got a little bit crazy.
it was a little bit *too cold to send them outside.
it really was.
so that meant...
there was ball throwing. and wii dancing. and wrestling. and crying.
all.my.kids. of course. :))
made me thankful i really only have 5.
Thanks for the reminder Lord. ;)

*************************************************************

have not taken the time to post lately.
i apologize for that.
i have been trying to get some reading done...so when i take a free minute,
i cozy up to the fire, and read a chapter or 2.
a couple of my favorite things about winter.
the stove in my basement, and I read more, oh...with coffee.
and.
i guess those are the ONLY things i like about winter.
i am a summertime girl.

************************************************************

so, i realized i never did a post about my sun porch renovation.
i love.love.love it...
and cannot wait to enjoy it in the summer.
it definately gets chilly out there in the winter...

we moved to the farm, the summer of 2007, and this was one of the first rooms i painted.
i decided on a deep orange, almost rust color.
got it right out of a magazine,
and i totally loved it.
still loved it, but thought the room would be so much prettier white.

as my mom had tried to convince me, when i went with rust.
thanks mom. ;)

did you know white is trending now?
and i am glad.
it makes the room look so much bigger.

here are a few "before's".
from dinner's i hosted.

we don't eat out there a lot anymore,
since we knocked the wall out of our kitchen,
there is so much more room for me to entertain there now...
but sometimes, big dinner parties are still held in the sun porch,
as seen here...

getting started.
i do love behr paint, from home depot.
coverage is good. Soooooo much better than years ago.

here it is before i painted the trim.
i decided to go ALL white. Trim too.
i really love the look.
of all white.

 and, getting finished up...
hopefully i will post a picture or two next week,
what it looks like now...i have the roman shades up again.
it is cozy.

and as with any renovation...it gives me a real desire to clean out.
and simplify.

seems i like to do that after Christmas also.
what i am doing now. :))

seems like these pictures aren't real clear...

i think some came from instagram. which would explain it.
you get the idea. :))

is everyone un-decorated from Christmas?

not quite. but soon. i promise.

Christmas Decorating 101.

so i am finally getting around to posting some pictures of my home.
call it a...

Christmas House Tour

 2014

 

without walking thru my home.
although you would be more than welcome to do that at anytime...
as long as you are fine jumping over mounds of laundry.
it seems there is always some somewhere in the house...

:/

Christmas is my most Favorite time of the year.
i love to decorate for Christmas.
i love all the lights. and greens.
i think it makes a home feel so warm and cozy.
and then good smells and candles burning.
yep. cozy.

it is for these reasons, i decorate (most years) before Thanksgiving actually gets here.
i am totally able to be thankful for all the Lord has blessed me with
sitting beside a Christmas tree...at my Thanksgiving dinner.


some people don't like to mix the holidays.
i am not one of those people. :))

and please, please, PLEASE note...

i am inspired and encouraged by reading blogs and flipping thru instagram.
i LOVE it.
i get so many fun ideas, so much information.


i know it is hard for some.
they feel attacked, and un-creative, and discouraged.
that is not my intention, so if you feel that way, while looking at this blog,
either stop right now, or

please DON'T you dare feel that way.  :)))
know that i am posting these to inspire you, as others have inspired me.
i rarely do decorating the same, from year to year,
i just don't,
so this is also for me to remember THIS year.

know that much of what i do, is inspired from magazines, pinterest, instagram...so many sources.
don't think i am super creative,
i don't know that i am.

just a really good copycat. :))
with yard sale finds a lot of the time...

i hope to find a few more K's for the stair well down into our basement...
the big black one, i got at A.C. Moore, and spray painted it, and the turquoise one, i purchased at Home Goods- one of my most favorite stores...

this centerpiece on my kitchen island, was totally pinterest inspired...i had everything already, and just put it together. i think i got the *fake greens at Flower and Craft Warehouse, years ago. The deer i got at a yard sale this summer, which i was COMPLETELY tickled with, because deer are so trendy right now. the Christmas balls came from Walmart, years ago, and the big pine cones I smuggled home from Chile. I was sure they were not going to be in my suitcase anymore when I got home, but surprise, of all surprises, they were. Yay!! The candle holder was also a yard sale find...there is a teeny chip on the top rim...but i bet ya don't notice unless you totally stare at it, in person. ;)

i think the scale came from walmart, when kaycee was a baby...so that's 10 years old already. :/
the greens came from Henry's Greenhouse...one of my most favorite spots to visit and get ideas from this time of year...you can find them here.

this black cupboard came from Goodwill years ago, for a couple bucks, and I spray painted it black...you can see the pathetic job i did from this angle...but only from this angle. ;)) the globes were collected over the years...for they are pretty trendy right now too. ;))

 

this cupboard had doors on it at one time, and i took them off. i used to have it sitting on an old table, but since have gotton rid of the table, and was tickled when i could bribe my husband to hang it for me. ;)

my lovee, kaden, had to sneak in a picture. he is really a pretty cool kid...but i think he might know it. :/

these glass jars are from walmart, and yard sales. i spray painted those 2 lids...they look way cuter that way in my opinion. ;)

my pinterest inspired, chalkboard painted, wood slice. Also pretty trendy right now. i just LOVE them. a little piece of nature inside.

my newest art gallery wall. the kids have to do this barn picture in art class in 2nd? grade i think? so hopefully curriculum doesn't change, (haaahaaahaa) and in a few years, i will have each childs barn picture hanging here. i spray painted the frames red, because i like a pop of color. some verses printed off the computer framed and hung. and the deer head i just got at Home Goods. i just had too. it wasn't even on clearance, i just flat.out.bought.it.  please know, i do do that sometimes. ;))

 

the candle, and reindeer were each purchased at yard sales. the reindeers horn is actually broken off a bit, but you cannot tell, unless you really study him, and his leg was broken, but i hot glued it, and it's hidden in the greens (which are actually from a broken down fake christmas tree).

this picture is taken in my sunporch, which i just painted all white, and am totally in love with it. i have lots of greens, and trees and lights in this room, right now, and it looks so festive and pretty in the dark, especially from coming in from my driveway. ;)) again, yard sale red twig wreath, and a reuzit swiped sign that i painted chalkboard over.

this sign was pinterest inspired as well...i had this big old board in the basement for awhile now. so, i painted it white, and wrote these words on it using a sharpie paint pen. my most favorite thing to write/paint with now. i ordered them online, have not found them in craft stores just yet.

this Christmas tree is from 1961, i got it at a yard sale this summer. i love it. it has instructions from 1961 with it, on old newspaper. classic. i wrote the verse on the canvas behind it. i LOVED it when i saw it on pinterest somewhere, printed on a tea towel.

this piece of furniture i got at an auction for two bucks years ago, and refinished it. you can see it is not all old...the drawers were replaced with some kind of plywood, or something? but it's fine for my home. ;)) i have been collecting pieces to my nativity for years...i really love it. mirror is from reuzit, and i painted it roughly... tree is from  yard sale. that gorgeous map in the background is from my mother in law. whoop. whoop. :)) she used it for a "blind" in the sun porch window at my father in laws desk, years ago when they lived here. i rescued it from her basement, in her new home, (not enough people saw it down there.) :))))

a chalkboard painted wall underneath my living room stairs...

this pine cabinet used to be in my bedroom. it works really well down here now. it stores my tablecloths and burlap and such. the wreath, was from reuzit i think?, the candle pillars also collected over many years from yard sales, and painted...the goose was from an auction when we were first married...and the window sash i found in the basement, and just pinned an old quilt to the back... i took the double doors off behind this chair. they used to seperate the sun porch from my living room, and they took up SO.MUCH. ROOM. i pretty much had them opened all the time anyway, so now, they are in the attic...and i LOVE the space so much more...and gives me a little more space to play with. ;))



i love.love.LOVE writing.
i write on lots of chalkboards and chalkboard walls often in my home.
i enjoy making signs as well.
although it is all free hand...so it's not perfect.
i like to call it unique. :))
i have no tolerance for stencils, and rulers, and taping when i am painting.
call me impatient?

 :))

i would say this post is long enough.
 i didn't make it to the basement or upstairs,
but there is not much decorating there anyway.

lots of trees and lights.
my love is real trees, but alas, my marriage suffered from getting a real tree,
so i succumbed to fake ones for the last few years...
your welcome honey. :))))

all my trees have come from yard sales.
i do miss the scent of a real tree...i did put some real greens up this year...
which smelled good for a couple days...

thanks for stopping by.
may your December be filled with hope and anticipation
as we look forward to celebrating the Birth of our Saviour, Jesus.

xo.
Mis.

I just can't clean this place.

so, my friend just sent me this video, and i had to laugh outloud.
and then share it.

it happened to come at the perfect time.
my husband, who happens to be the perfect man for me, most of the time ;))),
was just recalling to my brother-in-law, the HORROR he (my husband) felt over the time he dated me, over how my sister and i's bathroom looked.

it was pretty much a mess.
all the time.
(and that might be an understatement actually).

i would blame it ALL on  my sister,
but judging by how pathetic i am now at cleaning the 2 bathrooms in this house,
i know i contributed to the filth.

he must have really fallen hard for me, because he obviously overlooked that discusting bathroom, or else thought he could "fix" me. :))

i love that my man and i are married for 14 years.
i have grown SO, SO much in those 14 years, it is hard to think back to what i was like,
as that 23 year old babe he married. ;)

we can now agree that he has no idea of what my life as a mama to 5 is like
yes, he can watch the kids for a weekend, if i go away.
and can do a really fantastic job at it,
but a weekend is hardly a taste of the everyday nutsiness of this household.

[or that's what i tell myself anyway]  :))

insert. watch this video. and feel free to laugh outloud.

well. maybe.
you are probably only going to think it's funny if you are an overwhelmed mom
that cannot figure out where all the time in your day goes...

HE knows MY name.

this song has meant a lot to me lately.

like. i BLARE it at my house.
or anytime it's on the radio.
for real.

God is moving at my church.
RIGHT now.
wild. UNMISTAKABLE GOD.

he has shaken me. for the good. to the core.
it was time.

so now.
SOAK up this song. every word.
it is powerful.

LOVE you.
and most importantly.

God loves YOU!
the Creator of the Universe loves YOU!

http://youtu.be/_la8CUQWyN0?list=RD_la8CUQWyN0

Calli turned SIX.

Calli turned SIX on the 11th of October...
that's like already 2 weeks ago.

I am just finding my desk,
apparently my new organization system is really working this year.
NOT.
so depressing, but that is another ballgame to talk about. :)

Calli. she shines. she smiles. a LOT. she giggles. a LOT.
she is my hugger. and kisser. she is loving kindergarten, and also loves mommy
picking her up at 1 pm. :))
she writes her a's backwards almost every.single.time.
it doesn't seem to matter that she writes them in her name a lot.
she counts well, but misses 13 pretty frequently. what does that mean, anyway?
she loves to color. and read.
she LOVES karolina. they are very, very good friends.
she takes care of her needs. sometimes before mommy. :/

here's some pictures of our celebration of calli ann...

[you can look here to read about the day she arrived, and you can look here
to read about her delivery...]

 

 

cousin- Piper.

calli- with cousin, Reese, looking on.







Uncle Matt- always trying to win over the neices/nephews, with Karolina, and wife, Naomi...

Aunt Meg, with neice, Destiny.



Mam-maw with cousin, Hope and Karolina.

a little something on my heart.

it took every ounce of courage i had to show up at my first Moms In Prayer meeting.
it was held at a church down the street, and i had a few acquaintances that attended,
but no one that i was really "close" with.
i went. and i went the next week.
and continued, even when I didn't "feel" like dragging my other 4 littles out the door.
i went out of my comfort zone, and started praying outloud. in front of others.
and it got easier. and easier.
and now. NOW. almost 6 years later, i am leading that same Moms in Prayer group in my home.

WOW. God astounds me sometimes. well. most of the time actually.
How about you?

so...if you are an Octorara mom, and you want to pray for your children...please come.
it is a small group of moms who meet the 2nd, 3rd and 4th Tuesdays of each month.
bring your littles...they can hang on your lap, or play in my basement.
and we pray. sometimes we cry.
we.are.real. life moms. sharing in the blessing of mothering children together.

situations have come into my life.
and shaken me.
i cannot waste time NOT praying for my kids, and their friends, and their school.
it is a passion.
i.am.in.
all in.

if you are not an Octorara mom, but would like to see if your public school has a MIP group,
check out their website: www.momsinprayer.org. there is a place there, where you can search for a group. or if you just want to check out their website, go for it...

Happy Tuesday.
They should be arriving any minute. :)

divorce is hard.

nothing new there.
right?

divorce is hard.
it's ugly. and hard. and tears families apart.
it makes things weird and akward.
and makes life way more complicated then it should have to be.

i think it's fair to say that i hate it.
i hate divorce.

i am not a child of divorce.
i have only ever been a niece of divorce.
a cousin of divorce.

but i experienced something last night that was HARD.

i went to the Memorial Service of my aunt.
my x-aunt?
no...that doesn't sound acceptable.
let's just keep it at my aunt.

my aunt Donna, who i haven't seen since i was 14 years old,
was killed tragically in a car accident on September 12th.
in California.
where she lived, with her husband, and family.
2 days before her 56th birthday.

it's so interesting when you get news like that.
someone i haven't seen for so long, yet memories flooded my mind instantly.
so...to Donna...some things i may have never told you...

she had always been one of my favorite aunts.
she had been married to my uncle Galen, my dad's youngest brother.
well. until i was 14. or I was 14 the last time i saw her "as my aunt".
they had always lived in California, so we didn't see them all that much.
but when we did, boy, was life a party!

and that's what i remember.
life was a party with them!
i hope i will always remember her laugh. it was great.
and full. and deep. and contagious.
she made us feel like gold. we were special.
she hugged us, and tickled us.
she got in the pool with us to swim.
she may have even played marco polo with us.
she played football with us in the yard.
she bought us things. Galen, might have contributed to the gift buying too? :)
two specific things i remember getting from them: a) a white "I love L.A. t-shirt."
                                                                                  b) a fancy antique purse.
my sister and cousin, Shelly, would put on "shows" for them when they came in for visits.
the one i most recall, was "Johnny and his bushy hair."
i can still recall the first couple lines of our made up jingle.
and how Galen would whistle, and they would scream and cheer for us,
when we were done. again, made us feel so awesome.

i always admired her long, brown, curly hair.
mine is straight. :/

i am so glad i went last night.
i know her parents, and siblings.
and her sister came up to us, and we hugged and cried.
and that was hard.
she has a lot of the same mannerisms as my aunt, and sounds like
her when she talks. :/
also talked briefly with one of her brothers, which also helped me remember all i loved
about Donna.
her sense of humor was outstanding.

i kept in touch for a little bit over the years, which eventually faded into nothing.
that's where it gets hard.
she got married again, and fell in love with a new family.
(exit us)
my uncle got married again, to Deborah, who I have also come to love.
(insert her new to us family)
and now we visit and share life with them.
which is great and fabulous, but...

there were never any real goodbyes.
just an exit. a fading away.
and that's okay, it is just one of the hard things in life.
the last memory i have of them together was at my brother's high school graduation.
that was in 1992.

thanks for reading.
pray for her family.
they are so sad.
and i am tearing up again as i type.

life is hard.
there are not always answers to life's hard things, is there?

xo.