one of "those" moms.

i suppose i have been living in denial for some time now.

but i am beginning to see glimpses of reality.

now and again.

a lot of people gasp and sigh when they see i have 5 children.

i shrug it off. no big deal,

and kindly tell them it's really no different than having 3.

once you have 3, well, you and your spouse are outnumbered, so what's a few more?

i guess that may be a lie.

5 is more than 3. from every angle that i glance at it, and i am okay now.

with telling people. yes. 5 kids is a lot to handle. :)

last week. i would have still shrugged it off and smiled.

take for instance my visit to the library yesterday.

i was running around all over creation, in the morning, so...

i returned some library books at a library that was closed, that i don't normally go to.

(i should say these library books were overdue.)

our trip to the mountains caused me to focus on packing food, clothes and other necessities for 7 people.

i lost the library book focus.

now. for someone with 2 kids. their fine would have been. hmmmm.$3-ish.

mine. was $7.30.

sigh.

when you take 2 kids to the library who pick out 4  books each, that's 8 books.

when you take 5 kids to the library, who each get 4 books, thats 20 books.

enough said.

i stopped at a different library on the way home.

our stack of books was not nearly as many as 20, but still probably 12, since calli and i were picking out

books for everyone, since they were at school.

i thought i paid my fine the night before on the computer, to alleviate this next situation.

but apparently, i forgot to click the "confirm' button. :(

so situation ensues.

this nice, kind librarian asked me if i wanted to pay my fine, and i told her i thought i already had.

she clearly thought i was lying.

clearly.

as she looked sternly over her wire rimmed glasses at me, and said,

"and i see you still have 20 books out, they are not due until the 21st, but..."

i got the idea.

i tried to explain i had returned my 20 books that morning,

but the library i had returned them to, was closed,

so they weren't posted yet, but i realized by the way she was looking at me,

she thought my lie was getting bigger and bigger by the minute.

deep breath.

i apologized, as i felt my face getting red, (and realized i was looking guiltier and guiltier by the minute,)

 and offered to put the books back, it wasn't that big of a deal,

as karolina is crawling out of my hands, and calli is 'itching' to get out of there...

she then maybe looked at my stack of Jesus and Paul and Adventures in Oddyssey books,  :)

and decided to give me the benefit of a doubt.

she checked out my books, and i was on my merry way.

funny. how my James Bible studay is coming to an end.

we are talking a bit about judgement, and how quickly it happens everyday.

even at the library.

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and i am curious about another situation.

i was doing my husband a huge favor the other week,

and had to drive to one of his listings outside of cochranville, to unlock it.

i was minding my own business, driving by a golf course, checking out my husband's listing sign

across the street, when, kur-plunk.

a sound.

i look in my sideview mirror and see a golf ball bouncing away from my car.

in retrospect. i KNOW i should have stopped and pulled over, and grabbed the ball,

and waited there to approach someone who came looking for their ball.

but that thought TERRIFIED me.

so. i did the second worst thing. and called my husband.

who INSISTED i go back and stop in at the clubhouse, to see what they were going to do about it.

EEEEEEKKKKKK.

am i the ONLY woman out there who would want to cry and die instead?

i am sure i saw the group of people who's ball hit my car.

but certainly did NOT have ANY nerve to approach them.

of course, the golf course will take no such responsibility for such a mishap,

nor would ANY golfter on the course even suggest that their ball might have been the one to DING my car.

so. i am out of luck.

a mad golf course owner,

who doesn't understand why i didn't stop those people and tell them they hit my car.

a mad husband for all of the above reasons.

kids packed in my car. questioning me what was wrong...

all to do my husband a favor.

and it comes crashing down on me...

can i just get a teeny bit of credit here.

in the last 12 years of my marriage to my outspoken husband.

can anyone vouge for me.

that i have become much more outspoken then EVER before?

please?

:)

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i guess that's all for now.

need to enjoy this gorgeous weather...