how clean is clean?

my raw thoughts for this morning...

some of you know that my husband told me last week that our house was not clean enough. hmmmm. to say i was upset by his remark was an UNDERSTATEMENT. :) [so...in my anger...i worked on painting my daughter's room, and deep cleaned both kaden and kaycee and campbell's rooms...washed windows, curtains, dusted, the whole shibang...and more to do this week of course...all to start over again next week.] did i get anything else done that week? hmmmm. no flowers delivered, few phone calls made to friends, did mail some cards...most of what my life is, did not get done. it's a real inner battle right now for me to weigh out my priorities and keep my husband happy...i am having a hard time being who i "thought" God was calling me to be...and hearing my husband tell me i am not getting "enough" done.

so... the devotional page i flipped to this morning, looked like this...

how clean is clean?

while housework is necessary, it can be depressing because it is never done. you have just vacumed your carpet, only to find your three year old has been trailing you with crackers. and when one person alone deals with cleanup, resentment can build quicker than scum on a shower wall. if you're feeling overwhelmed with housework, here are some steps on sharing the load:

1. talk it out. all of us enter marriage with expectations on how our homes will run: the house is hers to take care of, (this was our expectation), or we'll each do 50%. but many times we don't clearly communicate those expectations to our spouse. instead we assume the other will just get it. that is usually an incorrect-and unfair-assumption.

2. define "clean." it's important to discuss what "clean" means for each of you. a common problem with housework is that we assume we're talking about the same thing when we are not. i value clean; my husband values tidy. i can walk by knitting projects strewn everywhere and not notice them, while he may never notice dust on a bookcase. saying "keep the living room clean" means different things to different people. (i am more of a tidy person, as long as my house is in "order" i am feeling good about my day...matt however, loves "clean" AND "order" ALL THE TIME...with 4 young children...in a 5 year span...why didn't i see this coming?)

3. delegate tasks. once my husband and i understood each other's definition of "clean," it was easier for us to divvy up the housework. he makes sure things are picked up, and i concentrate on dusting and vacuuming.

hmmm. this oughta be a good one. any advice? basically there is not enough time in my days to get everything done...EVEN if i wake up at 5am (which i try really hard NOT to do), and retire at 11pm...so...i thought number 4. should read...4. hire a cleaning lady. ha. :) how did they leave that out?

i will ponder more...as i clean more windows...

we did have a great Easter. we hope you also did, and were able to reflect on all Jesus did for us...have a great week. mis.

Comments

CountryMidwife said…
Get a MOT! And don't feel guilty about it!
stoltzfus3 said…
You are a better woman than I am....I would have handed Scott the cleaning supplies:)
Chelsea said…
old farmhouses can't be truly clean, it's science. he can't argue with science. or you could tell him he's right, and you think it's because you don't feel clean and need a spa weekend to regroup and truly be able to clean. :)
Ang Stoltzfus said…
yep- GO WITH #4!!!!! you won't regret it. =))
love you!
Sarah said…
Oh my gracious, if my husband ever... I better stop there.

I will say, YOU ARE AN AMAZING WIFE/MOTHER/HOMEMAKER/FRIEND/SISTER..shall I continue??? Many look up to Mis. Don't be discouraged. Keep pressing on and being obedient to what the Lord has called you to. And if it would help, you can send Matt over here..then he'll see DIRTY:)
Missy. said…
thanks for all your fun and encouraging comments...mis.
Jane K. said…
Feel free to send Matt down here to look at my house...I have decided to do the absolute minimal of housework until we move out of here!!!

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