Party like a princess...

So times are a changing here in the King household. Almost 2 teens live here, and soon to be a bunch of pre-teens to follow. :) Trying to...

Saturday, March 26, 2011

to facebook or not too.

so...normally i get a lot of "crap" for not being on facebook. yeah...i know...and maybe i will be ~some~ day...but i was reminded once again this morning why i am not...

i was watching the today show ~this morning~ when they did a little clip on facebook. and how just over 50% of married people get in touch with an "ex" on facebook at one time or another...and a higher percentage of that percentage continue facebooking the so called "ex" when it's not entirely appropriate. an even higher percentage just "check up" on the other, with no communication.

you know the times. you had a bad day. the kids are screaming. you are feeling less than attractive and you get a ~nice~ facebook message from someone from your past, who says things that affect you in  a ~nice~ way because of the way your day is unfolding...

Grand Teton Photos

it's just not right for me.
that's all.
high school was a bitter sweet time for me.
i have great memories.
but i also have some memories that i don't really need to be reminded of.

i dated someone for 6 years. who i totally loved.
but...things did not end so pleasantly...
did i forgive him? absolutely.
have you ever forgiven someone, and they not even asked to be forgiven?
or admitted even that they did something wrong to begin with?
it's kind of one of those wierd scenarios.

(my past boyfriend got drafted out of college to play major league baseball)
i don't want to paint him in this negative light... ~well not entirely~ ;)
he has worked very hard and accomplished a lot
and is living his dream a bit.

it was "weird" enough to go and chaperone the christmas ball,
and see a big "shrine" of ryan...just staring at me.

if i am honest with myself...
i don't really want to run "into" him...i don't really even want to chat with him.
(although it was ironic that matt ran into him one night...whew...)
hearing about him from all my friends is "fine" enough for me...
do you get my drift?
we had friends that were loyal to both of us.
and that was hurtful to me in the end. so i don't really even want to
"chat" with them either...
not that i haven't forgiven, but i don't intentionally want to remember
all those feelings all over again.
is there really such a thing as forgive and forget? i don't think so.
you can chose to forgive and forget,
but it doesn't get erased, now does it?

i needed to forgive myself, and him, and move on.
and that happened.
but...this whole facebook thing makes me ask a lot of questions.
to myself. about myself.

i was either loved in high school or kind of hated.
there really wasn't a lot of middle ground for me.
it intrigues me how people from your past just "show up" on facebook
and you chat, and become friends, and that's that.
kinda like you show up at class reunions, and shoot the breeze,
and talk about your life... you know why i don't "facebook".
call me un-healthy or rediculous.
totally fine with me.
i am very well aware of my insecurites
 and working on them.
oh. my list goes on and on. a million reasons why it's not right for me.
right now. all wrapped up in my insecurities and who i am trying to be. :)
maybe it's comparable to those parents who chose not to have a tv in their house growing up...i know I thought they were crazy...just like some of you think i am a wack job. ;)

i am happy with my life right now.
i am in a 'good place'.
i am married. to the the man i love the most in the world.
i am involved in a lot of things, and completely blessed to be able to stay
at home, and be a wife and mother.
our kids are healthy and happy. and i guess i feel like i make an effort to
talk to the people who are important to me. a priority.
and what facebook will bring to my life, just isn't important to me right now.

Jerome Lake Photos, Chugach National Forest

i have bigger things to spend my time doing. more productive. for me.
i know a lot of good things happen thru facebook.
and if used the wrong way, some not so good things.
i have enough trouble making time in my day to spend time with JESUS.
can you believe it?
the one who knit me together. who knows my every thoughts.
who knit each of my children together.
and knows all about the one who is growing inside me right now.
he even knows her name. and how much she will weigh. and her birthday.
and i can't even prioritize my days to spend time with HIM,
and my husband for that matter...~we did watch a movie last
much less facebook.

until my insecurities have been worked out. you won't see me there.
that's all. happy saturday. lots of cleaning and laundry here.
and chickens. peeps. yay peeps. ;)
how about you? how will you spend your day? besides facebooking, i mean?


and on another note...

i was at a birth care appointment the other day, slightly distracted by my arguing 4 and 2 1/2 year old, when i couldn't help but overhear the conversation happening next to me.

it looked like a typical 1st baby expecting couple. very young. not your "typical" birth care couple. he was a tiny alternative looking guy, and she was wearing fish net stockings  and had a very short spiky hair style, if that helps draw a picture for you.

he had just returned from the bathroom, and was awed by the fact that there was a scale in there, and would not let it rest that he weighed 150 lbs. i saw sheer terror wash away the smile on this young woman's face. she said, i weigh more than you now?" rubbing her belly. and he didn't get it. he started asking her if he looked okay, and he couldn't believe he weighed that much, and on. and on. and on. she re-affirmed him, that he looked great and said again, "i can't believe i weigh more than you now." that's all. end of story.

so in the rare case that some male would be reading this. please don't ever behave in that manner. as if it's not hard enough watching the scale slowly creep up with a baby in your belly. your body is looking like something you have never seen before, and the last thing you need to be doing is re-affirming your husband on how HE looks. infact, you should never even discuss how much you weigh with your wife, when she is pregnant, because it is a little bit horrifying when you start approaching your husbands weight, let alone surpass it. i know. i know. seems trivial. but i felt so sad for that poor little lady. :)

loves. mk.


Lorena Shank said...

Missy- I'm not no facebook. I totally get it. I hope you all are having a good weekend. Hopefully one of these days Kurt and I can visit you all.
Hugs, Lorena

Chelsea said...

my mom was telling me about that same thing on the today show, i don't know if God is trying to tell me something or what ... but you are very wise. :) oh and i appreciated the story about that couple, that's not trivial to me.