so.long.insecurity.

so...hmmm. over a year ago i went to a video feed of

beth moore

speaking on her "then" new book

so long insecurity.

i just now read it.

my signed copy. ;)

i figured i had better get my butt in gear.

you know. being the mom of 4 girls, is going to be no small feat.

i am 33 years old and still dealing with insecurity issues.

how in the world am i going to teach. show. instruct.

my daughters, if i don't have a handle on it myself?

it is soooooooooo good.

for real good.

here are some of my favorite parts

and i quote...

....some people eat when they're about to rupture with emotion. others throw up. or jog. or go to bed. some have a holy fit. others stuff it and try to forget it. i can do all these things in sequential order, but i still don't find relief...

....the preacher had done his homework. he offered half a dozen scriptures describing what men should do for women. "women want to be told that they are captivating. that they are beautiful. desirable."

     i won't deny that. what woman wouldn't thrive under that kind of steady affirmation?

     but here's my question: what if no one tells us that? can we still find a way to be okay? or what if he says it because he's supposed to, but to be honest, he's not feeling it? are we hopeless? what if a man is not captivated by us? what if he doesn't think we're particularly beautiful? or, understandably, maybe just not everyday? are we only secure on his "on" days? what if he loves us but is not quite as captivated by us as he used to be? what if his computer is f ull of images of what he finds attractive, and we're light years from it? what if we're seventy-five, and every ounce of desirability is long behind us? can we still feel adequate in our media-driven society? or is it only possible if our man has gone blind?...

...men are not our problem; it's what we are trying to get from them that messes us up. nothing is more baffling than our attempt to derive our womanhood from our men. we use guys like mirrors to see if we're valuable. beautiful. desirable. worthy of notice. viable. we try to read their expressions and moods in order to determine whether it's time to act smart and hard to get or dumb and needy....

so, what do you think? that is only in the first 5 pages. yep. the first 5.

and how about this?

....sometimes women dress sensually around other men because they want their husbands to wake up and notice them. but they have no idea how they could be making the other wives feel. (aa-hemm...especially when they are a little more round, and pregnant. ;) ) let's exercise a little sensitivity and deal with our insecurities and cravings for attention in ways that don't  minimize the women around us...

and i thought this was really good too...

...where on earth did we come up with the idea that we have to subtract value from ourselves in order to give credit to someone else? the insecurity equation can play out any number of ways. let's consider these:

      ~ i tried to talk to her + she seemed really distracted= she hates me.

     ~ she's really gorgeous + she gets a lot of attention that i don't= she must

           be really conceited.

     ~ she's got this + she's got that= i've got nothing.

     ~ she doesn't have this problem + i've got this problem= she doesn't have

           a care in the world.

     ~ look what she's got on + look what i've got on= i have the fashion taste

          of a teste fly.

...do any of these equations sound vaguely familiar? that's exactly why we need to start catching ourselves in the act of comparison and tell ourselves to stop...

that stuff is more toward the end of the book. but she covers a zillion topics of some of the twisted ways that women think about themselves and others...i highly encourage all women to read it...it's that good.

**********************************************

and on another note...my toe is feeling much better. thanks for praying for me. it still looks a bit horendous, and i cringe when i put on a shoe, but it's feeling great compared to a few days ago...

now...i am off to spring clean some more. i think i am going to try to do a room a day. totally do-able. yesterday i got done my powder room/laundry room...it looked and smelled so good, and now...it's off to have pee stains on the toilet seat and dirt on the floor. oh well. it felt good for a couple hours anyway. someday i won't have any pee stains on my toilet and i might even miss them (we'll see about that), so for now...i am thankful for them and my healthy mess makers. gives me a reason to stay home and call this my job. ;)

and i am awaiting my new dishwasher *today*

that's always fun.

my 3 year old dishwasher has been functioning on one button

for months, and is now barely functioning on that button,

so...i get  a new one...for very little money.

with a little christian-like ;) kicking and screaming

thanks martins appliance!

~happy tuesday~