*spirits*up*

so my midwife said to me yesterday,
"keep your spirits up."
yes...i know, i thought.
can my spirits be up, and i still feel a twang of disappointment?

i think so.

i dreamed of delivering my 5th baby early.
my due date has now come and gone.
as usual.
no surprises there.
but i still dreamed.
that's what girls do, right?

and while this pregnancy has mirrored my others in many ways.
this part is not...it's different.
i am not dialating as quickly as i usually do.
(i usually walk around for a couple weeks pretty dialated)
which means i am getting a teeny bit uneasy about how things might go.

what if this labor and delivery thing is long and drawn out?
i tend to think i am a champ at delivering babies,
but that is simply because my labors are *usually* short and sweet.
(by short i mean 2-4 hours...and by sweet...i mean ~anyone~
can handle ~anything~ for 2-4 hours. it's a drop in the bucket, right? ) :)
i do, in general, get a kick out of ladies who ask if your labor was "easy".
what does that mean exactly?
because i am more quiet and focused and not screaming and yelling,
is that what makes some think my labor was "easy".
just curious?
and maybe i really do have "easy" labors and deliveries.
i guess it doesn't really matter, now does it?
most of us go back and do it all over again.
bottom line.
kids are worth it.
they just are. :)

so, with that being said.
i am keep on keeping on.
trying to keep the smile on my face.
weeding, painting, entertaining, as if nothing is going to change anytime soon.

and when it does.
boy. will i be glad it's over.
:)


 i *love* this picture. doesn't it say a thousand words?
i think it's hilarious.
this is how i feel about now.

p.s. stress test on friday.
then we will begin talking "induction" tactics.
oh.boy.
what.fun.
i just wanna go to the beach.

:)

Comments

Ang Stoltzfus said…
i wish you were here with us! & we could go out for bfast at uncle bill's pancake house...& you & matt & kids could connect your bikes & make a long train & i'd take a pic;) & then you might forget ( a tiny bit) that you are WAIIIITING! i love you. this will all be past you so soon. really it will. i know you are "tired" of sharing your body. don't forget to text me when you are on your way.;)
Missy. said…
ang...so funny. i thought about you guys ~this morning~ and wondered where you were going to eat breakfast. ha.ha.ha. memories. so fun. so yeah. grab some fun times and sun for me and my family. :) cheers. mis.
Anonymous said…
Missy, I do remember those days of feeling very ready to have the baby. Every night those last days, with Brandon especially,I went to bed thinking, "maybe this will be the night" sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and wait a moment only to realize I woke up for no aparent reason. Then morning would come, I would pause and realize another night went by without the contractions beginning (which is how 3 of them were). Praying for peace as you wait! Keep working on your list!!! ANdrea Smoker : )
Missy. said…
andrea...thanks for your note...and yes, this is what i do... :) wonder "when" my life will forever change. :) have a great summer. mis.
Kendra said…
that pic has me laughing here at work! I feel like that right now, all of those emotions in one!! I did not have easy labors or deliveries, and went back (and quite quickly too:) ). you can do it and I am not a yeller either, don't really get that, even though I had long labors and pushed longer than your entire labors! ah, the memories, but it was all worth it and I would do it again, if I could handle another little one, the labor I could handle :) have a great day and stay cool!
K

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