Party like a princess...

So times are a changing here in the King household. Almost 2 teens live here, and soon to be a bunch of pre-teens to follow. :) Trying to...

Friday, October 1, 2010

another book.

okay. so one of the 10 books that i am in the middle of reading is:
"you can't make me"[but i can be persuaded]
strategies for bringing out the best in your strong-willed child.  
by cynthia ulrich tobias

it is grand. do you guys know that i love my husband?
like. for real. with all that i am. he rocks.
when i complain about him on here, it's just for the health of our marriage.
to encourage you all. and be real, of course. ;)
no married couple sees eye to eye, right?
opposites certainly attract, right, again...right?

i say this because there is a "how strong willed are you test"
in this book...and he scored the highest possible 11-12...which says, "you don't leave home without it-and it's almost impossible to not use it.

compared to me, who scored a 0-3...which says, you've got it, but you don't use it much.

ha. ha. ha.
for those of you who really KNOW are laughing.

the really right on paragraph in this book for me thus far
(i am only on pg. 29) is:

"you know, i always just thought my children were being disobedient if they didn't do everything my way. i've already figured out what works best and what methods are most efficient. i assumed that if they do it any other way it's just pure and simple insubordination!"

this fits my man to a T.
he holds me to the same high standards he sets
for our four children.
this is unfortunate for everyone involved :)
bottom line is that this paragraph is causing me to research my kids a little deeper.
trying to really see...what makes them tick.
why do they react that way? i know they are each different...
but it's kinda fun to FOCUS on it.
just trying to become a better mommy that's all.
and help my man along the way. ;)

we are working on meshing our different ideas on:
 parenting. disiplining. responsibility.
just to name a few. maybe we will agree by the time we get grandkids.
maybe not. ;)

and here's my next aaa-haaa moment (on pg. 29)

~a few years ago, i spoke to a group of parents at a conservative private school. afterward, one mother waited quite awhile for her turn to talk to me.
she was agitated and upset.
"listen," she said, "i have a strong~willed daughter. i admit i have been
very strict, and i am at times inflexible. but i've kept my thumb on
my daughter, and she knows who's boss around our house."
she paused and pointed to the doorway of the gymnasium.
standing there was a sullen, angry-looking twelve year old,
smacking her gum and impatiently tapping her foot. her mom turned
back to me, her eye brimmed with tears.
"that's my daughter. she hates me. she'd sell me down the river for a nickel.
do you have anything that would get her to love me again?"
here was a mom who had demanded unquestioned obedience,
who had ruled with an iron hand. had she forced her daughter to obey?
yes, to a certain extent. but this mother did not realize until that day what price
she had paid for her daughter's compliance. her adolescent girl
couldn't wait to leave home, couldn't wait to turn from everything her mother held dear. their relationship was broken. was that kind of obedience worth it?~

~some of you reading this are nodding your heads, agreeing with me.
but you're thinking about your spouse, who may not understand this
point at all. it's common for one parent to appear to be more
tolerant and understanding of a stong willed child than the other, even
though both parents care very much about their child.~

and this is the kinda thing that terrifies me.
like we should learn how to parent before we have some kids,
don't ya think?
and people wonder why i just want my babies to stay babies forever. :) 


Anonymous said...

well said miss.....matt said he wouldn't be surprised if you spoke at "women of faith" someday. you have a great way of sharing your heart through your blog.

Missy. said...

oh boy. oh boy. you guys are jumping ahead a bit...don't ya think. but i love it. thanks for the encouragement! :) mis.